Take On The World
by medicalfanatic
Summary: 'A content smile played upon the woman's pink lips as she pictured Serena in her mind. Unbeknownst to her, Serena was very much under Bernie's skin.' - Bernie Wolfe and Serena Campbell are in love, but how long will it take for them to admit it? (PTSD flashbacks/angst/eventual smut/Berena)
1. Savior

**Hello everyone! Enjoy the first chapter of my Berena fanfic that has been waiting to be published for a very long time now! I'll be grateful for any reviews, thankyou! :) xo**

* * *

Eyes glittering, Bernie Wolfe grinned a creased smile at the brunette walking towards her.

"Hello Serena! How are you on this fine day?" Bernie said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. They had both just finished the shift from hell in AAU and Keller respectively, with patient lists that went on for days and far too many agency nurses to count. On AAU Fletch and Raf were off ill with influenza - they'd both caught it from Fletch's daughter Evie. And on Keller (where Bernie had been working recently, in order to cover for the lack of doctors on shift), Dom was at home with the still-recovering Digby, therefore both women had been under excessive stress during their shifts and hadn't managed to catch a break, let alone see each other.

"Walk me to my car?" Serena asked, her tone hopeful.

"Of course. No offence Serena but you look like you could do with some sleep." Bernie remarked cheekily, as the pair began walking to the hospital entrance. Serena was in fact extremely tired; she'd just finished a double shift and, due to the seemingly endless mountains of paperwork sitting on her desk at home, she had hardly slept for the past four days. Dark circles under her eyes gave away her fatigue.

Suddenly, a glorious noise escaped Serena's mouth and filled the air. Her shoulders heaved as a laugh ran through her whole body - starting as a giggle, it soon developed into a full-out guffaw. Her eyes were crinkled with glee as she continued to laugh; trust Bernie to say what no-one else was willing to. The army medic always said what she thought, and Serena absolutely loved and treasured her honesty.

"Sorry for my sudden outburst, I don't know what came over me!" Serena exclaimed, having finally managed to stifle her outburst of giggling.

"No need to apologise. Hearing you laugh is an honour and rarity! It's one of the most...unique laughs I've ever heard!" Bernie replied, unable to keep a slightly bewildered smile off her face.

"Is that your way of saying it's terribly unpleasant?" Serena joked, an edge of mischief in her voice.

"Good grief Serena, not at all! Your laugh is very heart-warming and beautiful. In fact, it's almost as charming as it's owner." Bernie husked honestly, her hand grazing with Serena's as they walked. Bernie considered adding on that she thought Serena was just as beautiful as her laugh, but she decided to leave that for another day. After all, emotions can always wait to make themselves known.

"Charming as ever, Ms. Wolfe. You do know what to say to make a woman blush."

The brunette turned to face Bernie - unfortunately, they had reached Serena's car. Both women said their goodbyes with unstoppable smiles lighting up their faces; being in each other's presence created an unparalleled sense of joy for both women. As they each separated and got into their different cars, both couldn't keep the grins off their faces. Looking down at her hands, Serena felt the tingle of warmth from where Bernie's hands had touched her own. Little did she know that Bernie was feeling exactly the same way.

* * *

Sitting on the wooden bench in the Linden Cullen Memorial Shrubbery park, Serena gazed up into the night sky. The senior doctor was currently on a well-earned break from another crazy shift in the AAU. St. James's had reached their maximum capacity and the staff at Holby were doing their best to deal with the overflow of patients. Many simply required triage, but as with every simple task, the onslaught of paperwork was often as time-consuming as a difficult surgery. And so Serena sat, awestruck by the glittering gems in the jet black horizon, as waves of refreshing calmness rushed over her body. A cool but not bitter breeze danced in the fresh air - what a pleasant night this had turned out to be. Catching sight of an oncoming Bernie Wolfe, Serena smiled to herself; her night was about to get even better. The doctor thought that, if Bernie was natural phenomena, she would be ball lightening. An elusive, intriguing and wondrous enigma, just like the woman herself.

"Mind if I join you?" Bernie asked, her eyes lit up with a genuine smile.

"Of course, I'd enjoy your company."

"Here." Bernie handed Serena a coffee from Pulses. "I saw you out here as I was walking down the Keller staircase. I thought you looked like you could do with a hot drink, and I really had the urge to see you. Black coffee with brown sugar and no foam - just how you like it." Bernie husked sheepishly. She felt slightly flustered at the fact that, not only did she know Serena's exact coffee order, but she simply couldn't resist the urge to see the brunette if she had the chance. In fact, it was as if her heart had led the way to Serena and given the army medic simply no other choice but to see her. Sitting down, Bernie offered Serena the paper coffee cup.

Graciously, Serena took the cup from the army medic and wrapped her elegant fingers around it's warmth. "Thankyou Bern."

"You're welcome. Only the best for Serena Campbell!" Bernie joked, nudging the brunette teasingly in the ribs. And so both women sat in comfortable silence, enjoying their coffees and stargazing. Eventually, Serena looked over at the woman next to her. Above all other thoughts, all she wanted to do was sleep next to Bernie. She wanted to get close to her; feel her lips on her body, her arms wrapped around her waist. Ever since she'd divorced from Edward and then broken up with Robbie, Serena had been sleeping in a cold, unwelcoming bed with no one beside her. Every night, she was lonely. So lonely. Thus, she often wished for nothing more than to feel the blonde army medic's arms around her, protecting her from the suffocating isolation that threatened to swallow her whole in the dark hours of the night. Holding hands, sharing a hug - was that so much to ask? Right now, Serena just wanted to come home to Bernie. The brunette just wanted to know that, at the end of an impossibly long shift, there'd forever be someone to come home to. That, no matter what, she could always look forward to and rely on a seeing someone at the end of her shift. To be unconditionally welcomed into their arms. But Serena could only picture this ever being one person - Bernie. And so the two women sat in a comfortable silence, each not wanting to be the first to leave and more than content to remain there forever.

* * *

 _Echoes of previous explosions resonated in her eardrums. Vibrations from set-off IEDS rumbled through the arid ground, causing chain reactions and earthquake-like shocks. Dust swirled in puddles of sanguine blood. Beige Jackal 2 vehicles attempted to weave in and out of the path of oncoming detonations. She watched on as some of her comrades were helplessly blown to pieces by delayed grenades, their army camouflage engulfed by huge, billowing clouds of ash. There was noise and chaos everywhere, as innocent civilians ran for cover from the madness. The smell of burnt rubber and gunfire lingered in the dry air. Burst gas pipes dangled precariously above blazing fires; here, danger and death lay side by side. Without warning, the ground next to the motionless woman erupted like a volcano, recklessly throwing debris in every direction. Paralysed with shock, she couldn't help but remain still as her body was thrown into the air. In slow motion, she arced almost gracefully across the sky, watching the destruction below her. With a definitive thump, she hit the ground, immediately feeling her vertebrae shift dangerously upon impact. Shouts. Crowds. Medics. Needles. She could remember little of the few moments before she was put under anaesthetic, except her medical team busying around her body. Finally, a welcome darkness enveloped her._

Suddenly, Bernie Wolfe awoke, her forehead glistening with sweat. She quickly sat up in bed and protectively wrapped her arms around herself, having to physically unclench her balled fists. Wide, panicked eyes surveyed her current environment, searching for undetected IEDS or injured civilians. Still gasping for breath, Bernie tried to calm herself down - it was just a dream. Well, a nightmare. In fact it was the exact same nightmare she'd had for the past four days. After being hit with a detonated IED whilst on active service, her vehicle had rolled six times before catching alight. She was immediately flown back to England with a suspected spinal fracture and a ruptured aorta, and had been in and out of surgery around five times. But now she was completely healed and, after being offered a job by Jac Naylor, practicing medicine as a general surgeon upon the Keller (but more often AAU) ward of Holby City Hospital. Bernie wanted to move on although her mind was clearly unable to leave all past army experiences behind her.

Horrific, graphic nightmares had haunted Bernie's sleep ever since she'd been removed from her post. During active service, she was at the forefront of the combat, treating injured soldiers on the front line. She hadn't the time to think about anything but medicine. But without the promised chaos of her army medic duties, the blonde had more time to think about the things she had seen. Experiences that she had tried so hard to suppress and forget. With this new and unwanted time on her hands, Bernie Wolfe had no choice but to confront her most terrifying memories of active army service. The NHS was no lacking substitute - it still provided some action and drama, but was noticeably less urgent than medicine on the front line. She would offer herself up for every surgery, in the hope of staying at work for later. Perhaps the only obstacle to her working for inordinate amounts of time was Ric Griffin. The two were actually very similar and Bernie suspected that Ric had figured out, if not experienced himself, her use of work as a distraction. And so Bernie had far much more time to think about all she had seen in Afghanistan.

Anything could set off one of her flashbacks - the rumble of a car engine, the slam of a door and flashing lights had all been known to send Bernie straight back to Afganistan. As a consequence, she lived in fear; fear of the next, inevitable memory coming and taking hold of her entire body. But it wasn't just the anticipation of one of these attacks that scared Bernie. Everyday, this secret that she had harboured for so long on her own became a heavier and heavier weight to bear. Her chest ached under the pressure of being so inconsolably and undeniably alone. Marcus? There was no point in telling him - as far as he was concerned, Bernie was home (and now in his control) and therefore their marriage was perfect again. He didn't bother to see the sadness and complete fear that lived beyond the surface of the army medic's brash exterior. Her kids? She couldn't bear the thought of unloading this great burden onto them; Bernie felt guilty just thinking about it. In fact, there was no-one she could think of to share her problem. Every day, it got worse. The weight of the problem increased. And still, she couldn't bring herself to tell anyone. Weren't army members meant to be strong? Keep it together? When she signed up for active service, Bernie wanted to save lives; she figured that facing her... problem might mean having to give up medicine. If that happened, then she would surely die.

With a resigned sigh, Bernie rested her head back on her pillow. Her snoring husband was sound asleep beside her - as always, he was completely clueless as to what was running around inside his wife's mind. She looked at the back of his head, her cocoa eyes full of dismay. If there was once love between them, Bernie could no longer feel it. In fact, most days she could barely bring herself to look at Marcus. Not only did she feel guilty about her affair (that he had yet to find out about) but she had simply fallen out of love with him. It wasn't that he was a bad husband, it's just that she wished every day for him to be someone else. Serena Campbell. Every time he held her, Bernie secretly wished it was Serena's arms wrapped tight around her waist. Every time they slept together, Bernie yearned to feel Serena's elegant hands roaming her body. Even spending time with him felt like a chore, all simply because he wasn't Serena. Bernie was beginning not only to question her choice in husband, but her choice in everything. She honestly couldn't understand the deep longing she felt to run her fingers along Serena's cheekbones every time she saw her; it was unexplainable, but completely undeniable. She found her imagination obsessed with the thought of kissing Serena. The brunette constantly played on Bernie's mind. The thought of feeling Serena under her, the thought of Serena moaning in her ear. Just being around the brunette, even when they'd first met, made Bernie's heart pump faster. From the moment she clapped eyes on the gorgeous brunette, Bernie couldn't help but notice the way she felt around her. A content smile played upon the woman's pink lips as she pictured Serena in her mind. Unbeknownst to her, Serena was very much under Bernie's skin. Finally finding solace in picturing the enchanting general surgeon, Bernie blissfully drifted back off to sleep.


	2. Toxin

Sighing, the army medic leant against her granite kitchen counter. She'd just finished a very busy night shift at the hospital and felt relieved to be home. Marcus was out on a business trip for the week; they were going through a very rough patch at the moment due to him finding out about her previous infidelities in the army, and his impromptu trip was his way of showing just how angry he was with Bernie. Just this once, she couldn't be happier to be alone. More often than not, she yearned for company but today Bernie couldn't summon the energy to put on a happy facade. Crossing her arms across her chest, the army medic closed her heavy eyes.

 _Gunshots pounded like a drum in her bloody ears, the sound reverberating through the arid air. Dust settled over wounded victims, pain and grief swimming in their eyes. Innocent civilians screamed with terror as they quickly fled, desperate to find refuge. Blood mixed with dry desert sand. Scents of gunpowder lingered in the air. Her bones ached with an undeniable hopelessness and sadness as she watched the terror's unfold before her very eyes. She was a doctor; seeing all this death left, right and centre and being able to do nothing about it went against her very nature. A single tear rolled down her porcelain cheek as she watched one of her comrades being blown to pieces by a rogue IED. Brutality was an everyday occurrence in active army service, and the woman knew that better than anyone after a decade in the force. She yearned to go check on her companions, but also knew that she couldn't leave behind the young boy lying beneath her. Some of the civilians had a chance of survival, but this boy needed urgent care if he was to make it through the night. And so, with pain in her heart, the doctor stayed with the boy and kept up heart compressions until the urgent care helicopter arrived and could take care of him. Salty teardrops fell from her eyes and mixed with the arid, dry dust on the ground. Usually, Bernie was good at keeping her emotions in check on the battlefield, but the look of pure terror in the boy's doe eyes before his heart ground to a halt had set her on edge. Turning around to face the oncoming combat, everything suddenly turned black._

Paralysis gripped Bernie's body during a flashback - she had no other choice than to let the nightmare run its course. They were like a riptide or quicksand; fighting against the hallucinations just exacerbated the problem. Sleep brought back the horrors...but so did being awake. And so all the surgeon wanted was to fall into an alcohol-induced stupor - one of the few things that relieved the medic of the nightmares that continued to hound her. Shakily Bernie poured herself a glass of whisky. A rugged breath escaped her mouth as she drained the glass within two gulps. Although her windpipe still tingled with warmth, it had become accustomed to the dark liquor after years of drinking and therefore no longer burnt like it used to. Bernie shivered as warmth creeped through her body; her brain, as if on cue, began to feel a little fuzzy. Looking out into the sunny, manicured garden, Bernie decided to go and relax amongst her husband's rose bushes. He had found out about her affair with Alex yesterday and the army medic reasoned that she wouldn't get to be in this house much longer; she might as well enjoy it whilst she still had the chance. Reflexively, she grabbed the whole whisky bottle; Bernie reckoned it was more than likely that she'd end up drinking more than a glass. Clearly the general surgeon knew herself too well.

Alone, Bernie sat in her garden. With Marcus gone for the whole week, she was finally free to drink to her hearts content without his constant judgement. Images of divorce papers and settlements swam in her mind; but she really didn't want to think about that right now. Whisky coursed through her veins. Her heart pumped slower...and slower. Red lips drank down continuous shots of whisky, of which she had lost count. Heavy eyelids finally closed shut as Bernie tipped back her head in contentment. She continued to lapse in and out of consciousness between gulps of whiskey. Swirling scents of alcohol lingered in the early evening air. With the aid of intoxication, her busy mind could finally be still; the nightmares that insisted on plaguing her every living moment became non-existent under the influence of the dark, ominous liquor. As always, the army medic drank to forget. With a final swig, Bernie slipped into unconsciousness once again. A loud crash resonated throughout the garden as the crystal glass dropped from Bernie's now limp hand and smashed on the wooden decking. Splinters of broken glass sprayed her legs, leaving behind puddles of blood mixed with whisky. Her heart slowed to a scant, shallow beat. Then the rain began to fall.

It fell slowly at first, but soon gathered pace until the rain had progressed into a torrential downpour. With every passing minute, Bernie's core temperature dropped considerably lower and closer to the point of hypothermia. Alcohol was an infamous vasodilator, therefore the impacts of the cold sheets of rain were twice as dangerous for Bernie as they would be to a sober person.

"Bernie? Are you home?" Serena shouted. Huge pellets of water splashed down on the brunette, plastering her blouse down against her toned form. She'd tried ringing the doorbell, but to no avail. After seeing Bernie earlier in the day and pretending not to notice the doctor's puffy, red and clearly post-crying eyes, Serena couldn't relax until she knew that the Major was okay. Somehow, even though Serena had only known her a mere matter of weeks, Bernie seemed to already have a hold over Serena. Robbie, Serena's current boyfriend, was a bore compared to Bernie. All the brunette thought about was Bernie Wolfe. Strangely enough, Serena just couldn't take her mind off the sadness she had seen earlier in Bernie's eyes; her heart had led her straight to Bernie's door.

Still with no response from the front door, the brunette ambled around the front of the house, looking for any sign that Bernie was in. Hopefully, Serena peered through the rainfall down at the side-alley, looking towards the garden door. Her hands were shaking as she approached the metal handle and, to her delight and relief, it swung wide open. Grumbling, grey skies hung above Serena's head as she entered the well-kept garden. Clearly Marcus was an enthusiastic gardener - somehow she couldn't imagine the army medic trimming the topiary bushes. Delicately, the doctor began to step over the quickly-filling puddles on the saturated grass, when suddenly her eyes caught sight of a head of blonde hair in the distance.

Instinctively, she broke into a run and reaching Bernie became the only thing on her mind. Upon seeing the blonde doctor with her face slack and head tilted backwards, Serena gasped sharply. She dropped to her knees unceremoniously, oblivious to the wounds inflicted to her legs by the shards of glass. Seeing Bernie in such a state had numbed Serena from all pain except in her heart. Trembling, the doctor raised her hand to feel for Bernie's pulse. Running her fingers along the blonde's neckline, Serena's body visibly deflated with relief as she felt a faint pulse. Jesus Christ. The woman was absolutely frozen. Urgently, Serena fumbled around in her coat, before pulling out her mobile and dialling 999.

"I-I need an ambulance please. A-alcohol poisoning. Unconscious." Serena proceeded to give the dispatcher Bernie's address, furiously battling against the chattering of her teeth.

As soon as she smelt the whisky in the air and felt Bernie's slow pulse rate, the doctor's well-trained brain had immediately thought of alcohol poisoning. The army medic's pupils didn't seem to be reacting to light at all, and her chest was barely moving from her shallow breathing; clearly, the poisonous alcohol running through her veins was taking it's venomous toll. Serena sat slumped against Bernie's chair. She'd given up her coat and jumper to cover the unconscious blonde and couldn't stop the shivers that ran through her body. The general surgeon held to Bernie's hand for dear life; she felt a pang of guilt for not noticing that the medic wasn't okay sooner. She should've come sooner, she should've checked that Bernie was okay. But she didn't. And now the army medic's breathing was dangerously shallow, her heart rate was dangerously slow, and her body temperature was dangerously low. And so Serena sat, huddled against the army medic, waiting for the ambulance to arrive.

After what seemed like a lifetime, the ambulance finally came to Bernie's house. Two paramedics from St. James's Hospital rushed into Bernie's garden and carefully moved the army medic onto a stretcher. Once both women were safely wrapped up in reflective blankets and the IV drips had been attached to Bernie, the ambulance engine started. All whilst this was happening, Serena managed to hold onto Bernie's hand without ever letting go. The paramedics recognised her need to hold the patient, and had thereby worked around the brunette. Ambulance sirens blared as the vehicle jetted off like a rocket.

"P-please. Go to St. James's. We both work at Holby and it'd b-be better if she didn't turn up like...this." Serena pleaded with the nearby paramedic. St. James's was a 5 minute diversion at the most, and Serena knew the army medic well enough to appreciate that she'd prefer to keep her probable alcoholism under wraps from her colleagues. After all, not many people drink spirits straight after work - especially not enough to need an ambulance.

The paramedic nodded kindly and told his companion to head for St. James. For the rest of the journey, the brunette sat holding onto Bernie's ice-cold hand. Serena wanted to rest her head on Bernie's chest, but didn't dare interrupt the army medic's already compromised breathing. The brunette's head pounded as streets passed through in a blur; every time she looked down at Bernie, her heart ached even more. How had she never realised how stunning the army medic was? Funnily enough, despite the wet hair, reflective blankets and numerous IV drips, Serena could only see a perfect angel lying on the stretcher below her.

As soon as they arrived at the hospital, chaos erupted. With her heart rate rapidly plummeting, Bernie was immediately pounced on by another 2 waiting nurses and a doctor.

"This is Bernie and her friend. Suspected alcohol poisoning and early stage hypothermia. GCS of 7, sats are 89%." The paramedic said, as he wheeled Bernie down the ambulance ramp.

"Okay. Take her straight to Bay 1 in the ED; we'll pump her stomach and link her up to some saline. Have a crash cart ready nearby; I don't like the look of her heart rate right now." With these orders given, the two nurses rushed the army medic into the Emergency Department of St. James's Hospital, leaving Serena running to keep up.

"Ma'am. Please come with me, you need to be checked over." A young, scruffy nurse said as he attempted to steer Serena towards the AAU. Stubborn as a mule, Serena powered ahead to the ED, shrugging the reflective blanket off her wet shoulders. She felt absolutely fine - it was Bernie who needed to be taken care of.


	3. Peace Of Mind

Early morning sunlight glinted off the metallic heart monitors. Peacefully, Bernie finally awoke. She groggily wiped her eyes before succumbing to her senses. _Where am I? A hospital? Dear God, please don't let it be Holby._ She frantically looked around in an attempt to figure out where she was. The army medic sighed a breath of relief as she saw 'St. James's Hospital' written on a passing nurse's scrubs. Slowly she became more accustomed to her surroundings, taking in the beeping of the heart monitor and flashing of the digital clock above her bed. Finally, she realised that she wasn't alone; looking down, she noticed a hand grasping her own. Raising her head, her hazel eyes fell upon a softly sleeping Serena Campbell. When she'd concluded that Serena had not only found her (and probably saved her life in doing so) but then stayed with her, Bernie was overwhelmed with gratitude. Just thinking about Serena made Bernie feel at ease. Calmness spread through Bernie's body as she held the brunette's hand snugly in her own. She peered over at Serena, who was curled up like a cat and quietly snoring. She looked adorable...and perfect. Frowning, Bernie noticed how, in order to hold her hand, Serena's arm was bent in a very uncomfortable position. Bernie felt guilty and slowly tried to ease out of Serena's grasp and give her arm back. But, as soon as she began to let go of Serena, the woman's manicured hand tightened and held on for dear life. Smiling, Bernie rolled her eyes. Even in sleep, Serena couldn't give up on the army medic. Just as Bernie was about to go back to sleep, she felt a slight tug on her hand. Sitting up, the army medic grinned as she met eyes with a very sleepy Serena Campbell.

"Good morning Bern. How are you feeling?" Serena whispered, her voice raspy with sleep. Bernie's heart promptly began to melt upon hearing Serena call her 'Bern'. This woman truly was a diamond.

"Feeling much better, thanks to you. If you hadn't of come I-"

"Don't think like that! I did come, and that's all that matters." Serena sat up in the uncomfortable hospital chair, her fingers still intertwined tightly with the army medic's.

"I know. And I'm ever so grateful that you did; you saved my life and I'll never be able to repay you." Bernie whispered, lowering her tearful eyes to the floor.

"Well you're going to have to try somehow." Serena remarked in a teasing tone, her hazel eyes glinting with mischief. "But seriously Bern, don't worry about it. You would've done the same for me." Bernie nodded vigorously and squeezed Serena's hand. She would help Serena in a heartbeat - no hesitation or question about it. If ever Serena needed help, Bernie knew that she'd be there.

"So..." Serena continued. She didn't want to pry but she knew her heart wouldn't stop sounding like a thunderstorm until she had found out what happened to the army medic before Serena had found her. "What happened last night Bern? I'm not asking to be nosy. I just want to help you."

"Well...I don't completely remember to be honest. I had a recollection..." The army medic grimaced. "of my past life in the army. And then I just blacked out-"

"When you say recollection, what do you mean? Bernie I saw the smashed whisky glass. Please, please trust me; I know it probably feels like you are completely alone, but you aren't. You have me." Serena promised, her eyes glimmering with earnest. She gave Bernie's trembling hand a reassuring squeeze; after all, a problem shared is a problem halved. Or at least that's what Serena hoped. Serena knew nothing of the army nor the horrors that Bernie had seen. But Serena did know that, no matter what, she'd always be a shoulder for Bernie to cry on. From the moment Serena saw the sadness in the blonde's eyes, she resolutely decided that she would never leave Bernie. The blonde had always seemed so...alone. So lost. Even when she talked of Marcus or her children, Serena could hear the tinge of hopelessness in her voice and easily recognised the longing that hid behind those hazel eyes. Pain tugged at Serena's heart when she thought of Bernie with no one to turn to except a whiskey bottle. And so she decided that she would do whatever it took to show Bernie that she was there for her. She'd be there at the end of every one of these 'recollections'. Whenever Bernie needed someone, Serena would be there. She had to be.

"I keep having these...nightmares, I suppose. I am trying m-my best but I cannot seem to prevent them from coming. They haunt me when I'm awake and asleep. I feel as if I am a slave not only to insomnia but to my army memories."

"So is that why you drank so much? To forget them?" Serena asked sadly, already knowing the answer to her question. To think of Bernie in such pain made the brunette's heart ache.

"Yes." Bernie hung her head in shame. She hated not being in control, especially over her own mind. The fact that she had to turn to alcohol to get through the day made Bernie so angry and frustrated - how could she possibly continue living like this? "Every moment I'm in fear that I'll have another memory of the army. Sometimes the sound of a door closing or the smell of petrol can set it off. Other times, they'll come without warning. A-and the worst part is that I can't do anything whilst they're happening; I feel so stupid. Oh Serena, what am I to do? How can I work knowing that I could be paralysed with fear at any moment?"

"Bernie, we can fix this. I'm here for you and no-one has to find out if you don't want them to. Nowadays there's so much help for PTSD-"

Bernie's cocoa eyes clouded with panic as the harsh reality of her problem finally hit her. "PTSD? I'm not sure Sere-"

"Yes. I know it's hard to accept but even the best, bravest person in the world can succumb to PTSD. It doesn't make you any less brilliant or strong by admitting that you need help; in fact, asking for help is brave on its own. So I'm begging you to see a psychiatrist. Please Bernie, you and I both know that you need help."

Choked with tears, Bernie could only nod. She was so grateful for Serena's help; the woman was a comfort that Bernie had never experienced before. For so long, she had been hopelessly stumbling through life, blinded by the darkness. Finally, she could see a small crack of light at the end of the tunnel.


	4. Show You Care

_Bernie opened her eyes, and the burning heat hit her like a wildfire. Scents of scorched earth lingered in the dry air; once again, the army medic found herself back in Afganistan. She turned her blonde head around, looking for her camouflaged comrades amongst the distant sandstorms. Looking down, Bernie noticed a trail of ominous sanguine footsteps leading up to where she was standing. The blonde hesitantly lifted up her booted foot; ruby blood lazily oozed off her sole, glinting in the ferocious sun. God knows what corpse the blood had come from._

Finally free of the paralysis that had previously gripped her, Bernie sat up in bed, panic in her eyes. She couldn't even tell if that recollection was real or completely fictional; clearly her imagination was evolving. Serena had awoken upon the commotion and begun to try and calm the army medic down and bring her back to reality.

"What the fuck?" Bernie growled. Serena continued to try to comfort her and tell her it was just a nightmare, but Bernie fought back, pushing the brunette away and shouting viciously at her.

"Get out! I don't want you here." Bernie shouted. As soon as the words flew out of her mouth, regret spread through her system; but, as ever, she was far too proud to take them back. Anger and confusion were the foremost emotions on her mind. She couldn't handle the pressure of focusing on something other than her nightmare. As always, she needed time to process what she'd seen in her mind and had yet to calm herself down. Serena stepped back, gobsmacked. With her mouth still slightly ajar, the general surgeon picked up her coffee cup and headed for the door. Clearly there was no getting through to Bernie at the moment - but that wasn't to say she'd give up trying. So Serena sat, unbeknownst to the still panicked army medic, just outside in the ward corridor. The brunette watched the seconds tick by; she'd wait for Bernie to calm down, and try again. Who knew that, for those who weren't working a shift, time went so slowly in hospital? Serena knew she couldn't begin to imagine what was running through Bernie's brain; but she did know that she would be there for her when it was over. And so the general surgeon sat and waited.

When a young nurse came in to do the army medic's hourly observations, Bernie was quick to sit up.

"Have you seen the woman who was in here with me before?" Bernie asked, her tone laden with desperation.

"Didn't you know? For the past hour she's been sitting right outside your room - she hasn't moved at all!" The nurse smiled, shaking her head. No nurse or doctor had failed to notice the waiting brunette; she had been sat outside Ms Wolfe's room like a fiercely protective lioness. Eyes wide with shock and relief, Bernie immediately made a move to get out of bed and see Serena; a burning urge to apologise threatened to consume her.

"Stay there, I'll get her." The nurse ordered, hesitant to allow the still-weak army medic to get up.

A figure blocked the light coming in from the doorway. Quickly, Bernie looked up and straight into Serena's hazel eyes.

As far as Bernie was concerned she had made every mistake she could possibly make: ignoring her PTSD, drinking herself into oblivion and now forcing away the only person who was truly there for her.

"P-please stay. I'm sorry. I know I'm fucked up but I need you Serena. More t-than you'll ever know. I made a stupid, foolish mistake by shouting at you. Pushing people away seems to be the only thing I'm good for at the moment. Please forgive me?" Bernie whispered, her voice tainted with shame. The army medic's eyes flamed with a burning anger which was directly only towards herself for her frustratingly short temper.

"Of course I will. I know-"

"Tell me it will be okay."

Tears filled Serena's hazel eyes as she heard the desperation and hopelessness in Bernie's voice. Sadness seeped into her bones as she saw just how miserable the army medic really was.

"It isn't okay now. But it will be okay in the future, I promise you. Don't ever make the mistake of thinking that I'm not on the other end of a phone or not waiting for you if you want me to. Whenever you need me, be it midday or midnight, I'll be there. You'll get through this Bern." With these final words, the brunette gracefully walked towards Bernie and curled up on the bed next to her. The army medic happily moved over to accommodate Serena; her heart swelled with a rare happiness. Being in bed with someone else provided a rare comfort and warmth for both women. Smiles played upon both their lips as their two bodies huddled together as one.


	5. On Your Mind

**This chapter is the reason why this fic is rated M. You have been warned...**

* * *

Two weeks later, all was back to normal. Bernie had made a full recovery and, true to her word, Serena hadn't told a soul about what had happened. Bernie had been sticking to her commitment of one-on-one therapy sessions twice a week, and whilst still experiencing nightmares, the army medic could already feel a change within herself. Walking out of Holby after her shift, Bernie caught sight of a familiar, slim silhouette. She sat down on the secluded bench and linked arms with Serena.

"Hey Serena. How have you been?"

"Hey Bern! Not too bad thanks. I feel like I haven't spoken to you in ages - fancy coming round for dinner tonight?"

"Definitely, I feel like a good chat with my favourite person in the world is long overdue. I need to drop off some paperwork at my hotel room but I'll be round straight after." Smiling, Bernie softly kissed the brunette on the cheek and stood up.

"See you later Bern." Serena said, looking up at the blonde. Both simply couldn't keep the grins off their faces as they parted ways, knowing that they had dinner with each other to look forward to. But the picture of Bernie, alone in her rented hotel room, lingered in the back of Serena's mind as the army medic walked away. Surely she could do something to help Bernie's current lonely predicament...?

* * *

Sharp knocks resonated through the softly lit house. The general surgeon walked to the door accompanied by the sound of her bare feet padding against the wooden floors. Upon opening the door, Serena welcomed a waiting Bernie in from the cold, her face lit up by a wide smile. Bernie's hazel eyes roamed over the brunette's body, lingering on her dark, form-fitting blouse. Dragging her eyes away from Serena's well-endowed chest, Bernie finally looked up to meet Serena's eye-line.

"Hey. Thanks for having me over Serena, I think a catch up is long due!"

"I agree. And you know you're always welcome here; this house can be so large and lonely so your company is most appreciated." Serena murmured, stepping aside to allow Bernie into the hallway. As Bernie stepped into the kitchen, she was greeted with the scents of basil and tomato and the sight of two steaming plates of lasagne on the dinner table.

"That smells delicious Serena! You're clearly a talented woman but you really didn't have to go to all this trouble for me." Bernie exclaimed, her husky voice loud in the silent house. Serena thanked the army medic and placed her elegant hand on the small of Bernie's back as she followed her into the dining room. Upon feeling Serena's hand on her, Bernie's back arched instinctively. As always, Serena's touch set Bernie's nerves alight. And so she continued to the dining room and sat down at the table, trying her best to keep nonchalant and ignore the very tempting urge to reciprocate Serena's touch.

Dinner was indeed very pleasant and the two doctors had managed to ignore the omnipresent sexual tension that always lingered in the air when they were alone together. Both women never ran out of things to talk about, and tonight was certainly no exception. They'd drained two bottles of Shiraz between them before Bernie caught sight of the time on Serena's wall clock.

"Look at the time! Serena I've had a brilliant time but I have to go. I've got an early shift tomorrow and-"

"No!" Serena responded. Suspense twisted like a knife in the air. She winced internally at the desperation and speed of her response. Looking up, Serena drowned in the army medic's swirling, bourbon eyes. "Stay the night?" The brunette was not usually this forthcoming with her feelings, but she simply couldn't let Bernie slip through her fingers. Serena couldn't bear the thought of sleeping alone when she could be sleeping next to the angel currently sitting at her dining table. With a sudden twinkle in her glittering eyes, Bernie reached across the table and intertwined her fingers with Serena's. At a deliberately slow pace, the army medic dragged her leg up against Serena's calf.

"Well, Ms. Campbell, if you so insist."

In an instant, the two women's lips collided. Serena's chair crashed as it fell back on the floor, but the sound fell on deaf ears. Both women were enraptured with only one thought - each other. Bernie tasted like smoke and wine. On the other hand, Serena tasted more...deep. Sensual. If her taste was a colour, it was be the deepest, darkest red. And Bernie would be one shade off jet black. Hands grazed occasionally as the two women blissfully explored each other's bodies. Both women were desperate to give in to their long-resisted sexual desires towards each other. Bernie's elegant cheekbones pressed against Serena's jawline as she kissed the brunette's long neck. Serena's hands held onto Bernie's hips as she pushed her body into the army medic. Expertly, the brunette slipped Bernie's grey t-shirt over her toned arms and soon enough, both women were topless. Bernie lustfully pushed the brunette up against the wooden door, desperately running her hands over the doctor's porcelain skin. Bernie wrapped her hands around Serena's warm back and unhooked her black, lacy bra, dangling it in her hands with a smirk on her plump lips.

"Good grief Serena, you do know how to impress me." Bernie husked before throwing the surgeon's bra behind her shoulder and hungrily kissing Serena once again. Serena wrapped one leg tightly around Bernie's waist, pulling her even closer. Pressing her calf into the small of Bernie's back, the brunette rose up the army medic's toned midriff. Serena subtlety slipped off Bernie's red bra and it dropped unceremoniously to the floor. Full, rouged lips finally collided once again. Teeth clashed and wet tongues battled for dominance inside each other's mouths. Both women had a wealth of experience in the kissing department; now was the time to put this knowledge to the test. Serena tilted her head back as Bernie began sucking on her pressure point - the angle of their two bodies pressed bare nipples against each other, setting hundreds of nerve endings alight. Warmth danced across Serena's flushed cheeks as a guttural moan rose from her chest. Tighter than a vice, she dug her hands into Bernie's back; she wanted to be as close as possible to the blonde woman.

"Bedroom." Serena murmured into Bernie's ear, between gasping breaths. It was more of a demand than a request. Cold air hit her lungs as she led the blonde upstairs.

As soon as they entered Serena's dimly lit bedroom, the women's lips connected once again. Upon contact, a warmth spread in the atmosphere, singeing the air with heavy, hot passion. A loud, deep moan escaped Serena's open mouth as she was pushed onto her bed by the domineering blonde.

"Fuck me Bern." Serena moaned, looking up at the dominating army medic. With a teasing smile playing upon her plump lips, Bernie straddled the brunette and slowly dragged her hand up Serena's right thigh. This slow, deliberate stroke sent electric impulses up the brunette's spine, causing her to further buck her hips towards the heavens. The army medic leaned down and kissed Serena on as many places as she could reach: forehead, cheek, jawline, neck, collarbone. Then, whilst hungrily sucking on Serena's pulse point, her saliva mixing with the doctor's salty sweat, Bernie dragged her hand down Serena's stomach and towards the brunette's already soaked vagina. With her free hand Bernie drew circles around Serena's left nipple; it immediately hardened and the brunette doctor moaned deeply with undeniable pleasure. Finally, Bernie touched Serena's clit. The contact alone was enough to send huge tremors down Serena's already trembling and sweaty body. At first Bernie rubbed Serena's clit with her thumb and slowly began to venture into Serena with the tips of two fingers. Then, when the brunette was wet enough, Bernie moved her whole body down to the level of Serena's thighs and approached her hot core with her open mouth. Still rubbing the now panting doctor's clit, the experienced army medic used her wet tongue to teasingly circle around Serena's whole labia before finally jutting her whole tongue inside her, curling up against the brunette's inner walls. Bernie drew encouragement from Serena's continuous moans (not that she needed any more motivation to send Serena into orgasm).

"Mmm..." The brunette groaned as Bernie's tongue continued to explore inside her vagina. "I didn't know you were so talented Major Wolfe." Serena finally said, having gathered breath between pants. Hearing Serena address her formally turned Bernie on even more. The blonde bit her lip, smiled and continued going down on Serena. The sound of Bernie's low laugh vibrated through the room, through Serena's core. Serena had always enjoyed sex, but never this much. Until Bernie came along, the brunette never realised how fun sex could really be. Serena's knuckles turned white as she gripped the sheets. Tremors ran through her body - she was so close. So close. And Bernie sensed this. With one final nip on Serena's clit, the army medic sent Serena into orgasm. Suddenly, Serena's hips bucked upwards as every muscle in her body tensed. Sweat glistening in the moonlight, Serena's whole body shook as she rode her climax. The brunette's mind clouded with a cocktail of hormones, alcohol and euphoria. She couldn't hide the huge grin that lit up her whole face. Finally regaining control over her body, Serena slowly rested her hips back down on her bed, her cheeks reddened and heart still pounding like a drum.

"Jesus Christ." The brunette said, upon finally regaining her breath. "No one has ever fucked me like that."

Bernie said nothing. She gave a deep, rumbling laugh and, with sweat dripping off her forehead, she stood up and flopped down next to Serena. Once the army medic had also regained her composure, she turned to Serena, a mischievous glint in her hazel eyes.

"Now it's your turn. Do your worst."

"Yes Major."

Suddenly, Bernie awoke. Her forehead was hot and he brain was running at 100mph – as usual. Unsurprisingly enough, Bernie's mind was racing with the memories of her past army life. Eyes wide with panic, Bernie turned her head, sending her blonde locks flying across her face. Then she remembered that Serena was sleeping beside her. Bernie looked down at the Serena's pale arm wrapped around her waist, and looked at the cute, softly sleeping surgeon next to her, her strong jawline emphasised by the moonlight. In that moment, she knew that Serena's presence would allow her a nightmare-free sleep for the rest of the night. Bernie knew that her PTSD wouldn't go away and there was no instant fix, but Serena was surely a good influence. With this final thought, she closed her eyes and drifted back off to sleep.

Softly, Serena traced the outline of the freckles on Bernie's back as she slept. The brunette doctor abhorred the idea of Bernie leaving and having to return to her dark hotel room, alone with no-one by her side. After all, even though the sex had been unbelievably heavenly, just having someone to sleep next to was a rare delight on its own. Surely it would benefit both her and Bernie if Bernie was to stay here? Serena pondered on the idea of asking the army medic to move in with her. On the surface, it seemed like a convenient and sensible move; Serena had a huge, empty house and Bernie could easily stay there. Of course the doctor would charge no rent - Bernie's company was pay in itself. But Serena, although hopeful, wasn't sure if the guarded medic would accept her help. She knew how proud the blonde could be and thought it might be hard for her to move in without having anything to offer in return.

Smiling, Bernie turned around on her side to face the brunette next to her. She looked over Serena's beautiful figure - how had she got so lucky? Still cocooned in Serena's cosy duvet, Bernie nudged her head closer to Serena.

"Morning." Bernie husked, her voice laden with sleep. "How did you sleep?"

"Well, thanks to you. I was well and truly exhausted, I think we're going to have to work on improving my stamina." Serena smiled cheekily before turning to face the sleepy blonde. "I have...a few things to tell you. Okay?"

Bernie squinted her eyes curiously and huddled closer to Serena, welcomed by the brunette's arm which pulled her even closer.

"The first thing is that I loved last night. I've always wondered why my past relationships have always gone up in flames, and now I know why. It was because...well they weren't with you. Bern, the sex was absolutely brilliant but just lying next to you was paradise alone." Bernie made to interrupt, but before she could even get a word in Serena continued talking. "Look, I know I'm rambling but I just want to say that...well I loved having you here last night. And I resent the idea of you and I sleeping alone tonight, in desperately cold, lonely beds when we could easily be sleeping next to each other. All I'm asking is, well will you move in with me?

Bernie's forehead creased as she knitted her eyebrows in concentration. _Me? Move in with Serena?_ She couldn't possibly. Already the army medic felt like such a burden to Serena, and she really didn't feel like the beautiful doctor deserved any more.

Serena sensed Bernie's hesitation. "If you really don't want to then I understand. It's just I've got this whole dreadful house to myself and it seems such a waste-"

"Serena, please stop. I know you're only trying to help but I cannot possibly accept your offer. I'm such a burden to you already and I cannot give you any more grief. You are the most loving and kind person and-"

"Please. If you won't do it for yourself, then do it for me. I despise living alone in this huge house. Heaven knows I'm trying to help. I want to help. So please let me? If needs be then I guess I'll just have to move into your hotel room, if that's okay with you?"

It was clear to the army medic that the ever-stubborn Serena wasn't going to let Bernie's refusal stand. "Okay, okay, you've made your point. I accept defeat. But if I'm living here, will you at least let me pay rent?"

Serena shook her head, splaying her shiny brown hair in every direction. "No, you know I'm not going to accept your money. You're just going to have to repay me in other ways." Serena said mischievously before getting out of bed, leaving Bernie open-mouthed in her wake.


	6. Open

Glancing over to the AAU doors, the army medic caught a glance of Serena in her office. Head bent down, her eyes were focuses solely on finishing her work. Bernie's heart ached as she looked on at the oblivious general surgeon. A delicate necklace adorning the curve of her collarbones, the subtle tensing of her toned jaw; the army medic's observant eyes missed nothing. Suddenly, Bernie had never wanted to be so bad. In fact, she found herself having to resist the powerful urge of going straight into Serena's office and fucking the brunette there and then. The doctor's wooden desk looked sturdy enough to endure such an activity. Jesus Christ...there was nothing she wanted more in the world than to feel Serena on her. To feel Serena inside her. And lucky for her, tonight she would. She needed Serena like she needed oxygen, and the brunette luckily felt just the same.

By now the whole hospital had figured out Bernie and Serena's relationship; their shared looks and sexual attraction had been a dead giveaway. Beforehand, most were aware of the connection between the two women, but now they were leaving and arriving together for every shift, everyone was certain what had happened. Fletch had brought everyone a round at Albie's due to him losing the bet between him and Raf that Bernie and Serena wouldn't get together in the next two weeks. Raf couldn't help but notice the sparkle in Serena's eye and felt very pleased for his friend. Morven and Cara were of course thrilled for some interesting AAU gossip to share around the hospital. Zosia claimed she saw it coming, but 'never wanted to say in case she was wrong'. Of course, Dom was very proud after hearing the news and gave himself all the credit for the two getting together. But, most of all, everyone in Holby was pleased about the news. It was impossible not to feel content (and perhaps slightly grateful) that, by finding each other, two of the hospital's most fiery women had found happiness.


End file.
